my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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