What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
