College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
