who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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