hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
