uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
