Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
