Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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