There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
