You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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