Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Randomize
