I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
