Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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