I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
