Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
