no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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