do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
