Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
