We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
