Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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