I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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