Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
