so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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