my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
