That's when you crack a 10am beer
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
