i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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