i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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