Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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