We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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