as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
