Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
