I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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