shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Randomize
