I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
