omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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