dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
