moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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