holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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