bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
