She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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