so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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