No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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