Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
