i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
