tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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