that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
