My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
50% drunk capacity currently
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
