when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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