I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
