Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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