Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
